I Am Deeply Interested in the Gap Between What People Say They Value and What They Consistently Reward
One of my favourite phrases in organizational life is:
“That’s one of our core values.”
I hear it often.
Integrity.
Innovation.
Collaboration.
Psychological safety.
Inclusion.
Learning.
Accountability.
Resilience.
The list changes.
The pattern rarely does.
Because while organizations are often very clear about what they say they value, they are frequently much less aware of what they consistently reward.
And if you’re trying to understand a system, what it rewards will tell you far more than what it says.
A company might say it values innovation.
Then reward risk avoidance.
A leader might say they value honesty.
Then punish disagreement.
A team might say they value collaboration.
Then celebrate individual heroics.
A workplace might say it values well-being.
Then quietly admire exhaustion.
None of this usually happens because people are malicious.
Most systems do not drift away from their values because of bad intentions.
They drift because incentives are powerful.
Because habits become invisible.
Because culture is not created by mission statements.
Culture is created by repetition.
By what gets noticed.
By what gets promoted.
By what gets protected.
By what gets ignored.
Over time, every system teaches people what is actually safe.
And people are remarkably intelligent.
We learn.
We adapt.
We pay attention.
We become experts at navigating the environment we are in.
Which is why I often find myself asking a different question than the one everyone else is asking.
Instead of:
“What’s wrong with this person?”
I wonder:
“What is this environment teaching them?”
Instead of:
“Why won’t people speak up?”
I wonder:
“What happens when they do?”
Instead of:
“Why are employees resistant to change?”
I wonder:
“What has change historically cost them?”
Instead of:
“Why isn’t this strategy working?”
I wonder:
“What incentives is the current system protecting?”
This is true in organizations.
It’s true in communities.
It’s true in relationships.
It’s true in families.
It’s true in ourselves.
In my experience, some of the most meaningful insights emerge when we stop focusing exclusively on individual behaviour and start examining the conditions surrounding it.
Because behaviour rarely exists in isolation.
Neither does conflict.
Neither does burnout.
Neither does disengagement.
Neither does trust.
The systems we inhabit shape us.
And we shape them in return.
That’s part of why I remain endlessly fascinated by the gap between stated values and lived reality.
Not because I enjoy pointing out hypocrisy.
Although occasionally the irony is difficult to ignore.
But because that gap is often where the most important information lives.
The tension.
The contradiction.
The thing nobody wants to name.
The pattern hiding in plain sight.
And once we can see it, entirely new possibilities become available.
Not because we’ve found someone to blame.
But because we’ve finally found something worth understanding.